Yapping Again

Hi guys I'm back

I would ideally like to write these newsletter-thingies more regularly. I almost think of it like a diary, but I’m not even sure if that’s it. It’s more like…like I’d like a place to store my thoughts. I’ll just jump right in.

I’m moving soon. Not super far away, and I’ll keep my current job. By the way, I work full time at an independent bookstore, and I’m really, really happy there. But that’s beside the point. The point is, I’m moving about forty-five minutes to an hour away from my current location, and I’ll be commuting to work. My sister actually bought a house, and I’m living with her, so that’s super cool! I’m so excited to finally be able to collect books again, and have a space that’s just mine. Not rented or anything.

I have a lot of thoughts about this. Mostly I just want to finally be in that space. But my sister and I can’t move in until maybe mid-February, because the current owners of the house have to move out, closing has to happen, all of that stuff. I’m waiting on that. Key word waiting, and I guess there’s not a lot of patience on my end, haha. Patience and I have never gotten along very well to begin with. Using it now is like stretching a muscle I never use. Painful, but…necessary, I guess? You tell me.

I’m not even really sure how long to make this message. Since I’ll be updating more regularly, at least I hope, I’ll try to keep it short.

I’ve got a lot of stuff going on right now, and I mean a lot. Isn’t it weird how good things feel like tricks? Like, I just got some huge news, and for about a week after, I kept waiting for the “gotcha!” moment. For the moment when the thing I’d wanted was snatched away from me, a cruel trick. Of course, that moment never came, and I’m now super happy with what’s going on.

But for a bit there, I felt overwhelmed. Oh, who am I kidding. I’m still overwhelmed. I’m in a new role at my job, I just got some huge good news, and my sister and I are moving into a house soon. Crazy! I guess I just need some space to process, and this is that space. So thanks for listening, guys. I’m glad we can be here together.

Change is strange, isn’t it? Especially good change. Bad change is awful, don’t get me wrong. But good change is just…strange. Somehow I expect it even less than bad change. What’s that saying? Keep your hopes high, expectations low? I always go with my low expectations, and they rarely let me down. Especially in querying. I’ve gotten so used to rejection at this point that any good news is shocking.

And yet, I think it’s important to be able to accept good change. It’s not a trick, no one is out to get you. No one is trying to trick you. Good things can and do happen every day. Even with everything on fire right now, someone just got a good grade on a paper, someone just made their first watercolor painting, and the world keeps turning.

I believe in that. I believe that everything keeps moving, for better or for worse. One of my favorite internet sayings is: the time will pass anyway. It actually comes from an amazing post of a running skeleton that goes: “if it sucks! hit the bricks! the time will pass anyway!” Or at least that’s how I remember it going. It’s internet humor, don’t worry about it. Tumblr my beautiful wife.

Regardless, the time will pass anyway. Even if you’re stuck with a roommate you hate for a year, or you hate a class you’re in, or your boss is being mean, you will get through it. Why? Because the time just passes. Isn’t it crazy how that works? Nothing lasts forever. And that’s beautiful.